{"id":173,"date":"2015-03-20T13:55:35","date_gmt":"2015-03-20T13:55:35","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.jamesmdupont.com\/blog\/?p=173"},"modified":"2015-03-20T13:59:44","modified_gmt":"2015-03-20T13:59:44","slug":"its-that-time-of-year-again","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.jamesmdupont.com\/blog\/2015\/03\/20\/its-that-time-of-year-again\/","title":{"rendered":"It’s That Time Of Year Again."},"content":{"rendered":"

\"no-ideas\"<\/a><\/p>\n

“Well, shit, Mark, what are we going to call it?”<\/p>\n

“Hell if I know, Pete; you’re the Idea Man.”<\/p>\n

“I knew you were going to say that.”<\/p>\n

“If you knew I was going to say that, why the hell did you ask me the question in the first damn place?”<\/p>\n

“Because I’m fresh out of ideas, that’s why, which is no way an Idea Man ought to be. \u00a0Was a time when they would come to me and I’d spit’em out lickety split. \u00a0 Remember ‘Have it your way<\/em>?'”<\/p>\n

“Yep. \u00a0That was a good’un.”<\/p>\n

“Goddamn right it was a good one. \u00a0Brilliant when you stop and think about it. \u00a0‘Cause it’s the same greasy bun and slab of meat , just gotta pretend like the condiments a big deal is all, and\u2013”<\/p>\n

“Yeah. \u00a0I said it was a good’un, not that I wanted to hear the whole damn story again.”<\/p>\n

“Well, it’s a damn good story, Mark, and a damn good story ain’t never get old.”<\/p>\n

“Maybe it ain’t so good as you think it is, Pete?”<\/p>\n

“Hey. \u00a0Remember: ‘It takes a lick’n and keeps on tick’n<\/em>?'”<\/p>\n

“How could I forget?”<\/p>\n

“That was some golden shit, Mark. \u00a0Catchy, you know, how it rhymed and all, every empty head in America making it their own, saying that about their cars and their kids; hell, \u00a0they even named one of them there pornographic films after that one. \u00a0‘She takes a lick’n, and keeps on tick’n.'”<\/p>\n

“Heard that was a pretty good flick; heard is all; never watch the stuff myself.”<\/p>\n

“Or what about the time they asked me to rename the city, and I said, ‘What city? \u00a0You mean The Big Apple<\/em>?’ \u00a0And they said, ‘Perfect,’ and handed me a check for a hundred grand.”<\/p>\n

“That was you?”<\/p>\n

“Goddamn right that was me, and I did the same for The Windy City<\/em> and The Twin Cities<\/em> and The City of Brotherly Love<\/em>, although the last one there was a bit of a stretch.”<\/p>\n

“I had no idea.”<\/p>\n

“Of course you had no idea; I’m the Idea Man, or at least I was. \u00a0Until today. \u00a0Shit. \u00a0I guess my mind ain’t what it used to be?”<\/p>\n

“Maybe you got that … what’ya call it?”<\/p>\n

“Dementia<\/em>?”<\/p>\n

“Yeah, dementia.”<\/p>\n

“That was mine, too.”<\/p>\n

“So you do got dementia.”<\/p>\n

“No I don’t have dementia, I’m saying I coined the name is all, and Viagra<\/em>, and Propecia<\/em>, and Allegra<\/em>. \u00a0All in the same day!”<\/p>\n

“What about delusional, did you coin that’un too?”<\/p>\n

“Remember ‘Hope and Change<\/em>?’ \u00a0Or ‘Where’s the beef<\/em>?’ \u00a0Or how about: ‘Is that your final answer<\/em>?’ \u00a0Mine, mine, mine! \u00a0So why is this one so damn hard?”<\/p>\n

“That’s what she said.”<\/p>\n

“Mine too!”<\/p>\n

“Oh, brother.”<\/p>\n

“And ‘Put a Little South in Your Mouth,<\/em>‘ which they also made into a pornographic film, the sick bastards.”<\/p>\n

“I don’t remember that one.”<\/p>\n

“The saying, or the film?”<\/p>\n

“Uhm, the saying, of course.”<\/p>\n

“Shit, Mark, what if the ole attic is empty? \u00a0Mine. \u00a0Or the well has run dry? \u00a0Mine also.”<\/p>\n

“Maybe you’re looking at this the wrong way, Pete? \u00a0Maybe, ’cause the event is happening in springtime and all, you go with something like March Mayhem,<\/em> or April Anarchy<\/em>?”<\/p>\n

“Tell me what you think about this: ‘The Commotion on the Court<\/em>?’ \u00a0Or this: ‘The Basketball Brouhaha<\/em>?'”<\/p>\n

“Or how about March Madness<\/em>? \u00a0That has a nice ring to it, and when they get down to sixteen teams, we call it The Sweet Sixteen<\/em>? \u00a0Eight teams would be The Elite Eight<\/em>? \u00a0And so on until we reach The Final Four<\/em>?”<\/p>\n

“Anybody ever call you the Idea Man, Mark?”<\/p>\n

“Not that I’m aware of, Pete.”<\/p>\n

“My point exactly. \u00a0Now think here. \u00a0Time’s a-wasting! \u00a0Hey! \u00a0I got it! \u00a0How about we go with March Madness<\/em>?”<\/p>\n

“Really?”<\/p>\n

“Yeah really! \u00a0And when they get down to sixteen teams, we call it The Sweet Sixteen<\/em>?”<\/p>\n

“Tell me why we’re friends again?”<\/p>\n

“Eight teams we’ll call The Elite Eight<\/em>. \u00a0Oh, man, I’m on a roll here, Mark. \u00a0This is some golden shit.”<\/p>\n

“This is some shit, all right.”<\/p>\n

“Any idea what I’m thinking of for the final four.”<\/p>\n

“Some idea, sure.”<\/p>\n

“I’m back, baby. \u00a0Mine. \u00a0Back in the saddle again! \u00a0Mine also.”<\/p>\n

#MarchMadness<\/em><\/p>\n

(“Hashtags? \u00a0Yeah. \u00a0I came up with that shit, you bet!”)<\/p>\n

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“Well, shit, Mark, what are we going to call it?” “Hell if I know, Pete; you’re the Idea Man.” “I knew you were going to say that.” “If you knew I was going to say that, why the hell did you ask me the question in the first damn place?” “Because I’m fresh out of … Continue reading It’s That Time Of Year Again.<\/span> →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[8],"tags":[10],"class_list":["post-173","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-satire","tag-marchmadness"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.jamesmdupont.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/173","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.jamesmdupont.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.jamesmdupont.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.jamesmdupont.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.jamesmdupont.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=173"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/www.jamesmdupont.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/173\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":180,"href":"https:\/\/www.jamesmdupont.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/173\/revisions\/180"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.jamesmdupont.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=173"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.jamesmdupont.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=173"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.jamesmdupont.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=173"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}